Most times your spouse would do things that would get on your nerve. And as it is with the natural man, the first thing that comes to mind is to react. Pastor Vance says, it’s an opportunity to love like Christ did. But is it really easy to love like Christ did? Find out in this thought provoking read from Truly Faithful.
"The Opportunity to Love Like Christ"! ~ PAV
I remember once when we had no vehicle and I was in school, that I had to walk to school with all of my heavy books in the rain. That was almost 2 miles of walking in the rain. Before I left school, I messaged my wife on Facebook because we didn't have phones at the time and asked her did she need anything before I came home. She gave me a list of things we needed for the house so I tried finding a ride. I couldn't so I decided to foot it once again. This time I had to walk all the way from school to the store not far from our house which was a little over two miles. So I got to the store and picked up the things we needed. Well believe it or not, all that walking was the easy part as many of my past jobs required me to walk for hours at a time. The hard part was carrying all those things home as it has started back raining. I had several heavy bags and stopped frequently as the bags felt like they were cutting my hands. It was very discouraging to say the least but I kept thinking how I just wanted to come home to my wife and children, relax and eat a home cooked meal. I was tired and hoping my wife would reward me for all of the things I had done for her and our children.
When I got to the front door, I was thinking she was going to open it as she had done many times before. Because once she knew I was headed home, she would normally time how long it took me to get there, open the door, greet me and then the children are next. But this was not to be this time around. So I put all the bags down, wiped my head with my shirt which was drenched from sweat and rain and opened the door. What I saw when I walked in literally drained the little energy I had left. I saw food all over the floor, spilled milk, toys, piles of cheerios and more. My wife was on the phone, my daughters hair were not done and my son was making another pile of cheerios. I was a man on fire at that very moment.
I put everything down and in my mind, I had already refused to help do anything as I was tired and felt like my wife should have done her part in keeping our home and children in order. My wife put whoever she was talking to on hold and whispered to me, "I'm sorry I don't have anything done but I have been on the phone with this lady all day. She's been crying about this, that and the other. I will get things done as soon as I'm off". I was not happy that the house looked a mess. I was not happy that our children looked a greater mess with food all over their clothes and in their hair and I was not happy that no food was cooked or even made for me. I was like, can a brother get a sandwich? Can that woman on the phone wait? I was mad and walked away so that I would not act out in my flesh.
You see, I felt I deserved a clean house, clean children and a meal when I got home. Any of you would agree. This is what a husband is to come home to everyday. But when I got to myself, the Lord said, "Here is your opportunity to love your wife as I love the church". I stopped. Here I am mad as a raging bull and the Lord is telling me to love my wife? I was like, "But Lord, she hasn't done ANYTHING that she normally does. What about ME? What about that I have to wake up early just to walk and make it to school on time? What about the fact that she asked me to go to the store and I went with no complaints even though I had to walk over two miles to get there after walking almost two miles just to get to school IN THE RAIN? What about having to walk home in the rain carrying all these heavy bags AND MY BOOKS? In other words I was asking the Lord, "WHAT ABOUT ME"? And all He said was, "This is an opportunity to love your wife at this time".
I paused. I thought. I pondered. My flesh wanted to reject what the Lord told me but my spirit man was ready, willing and able to go and love my wife ANYWAY! I prayed a little more because I needed that strength from the Lord. I then went to get the children cleaned up. I cleaned the kitchen but left a pile of Cheerios so that my son could continue to play in while I made myself and my wife food. As I began to clean up and make food, the Lord then revealed to me that my wife had not eaten all day. I overheard the conversation that my wife had been ministering to a woman who was at her wits end in her marriage and was ready to walk out on her husband and children. And in order to keep the children occupied, she allowed them to mess up a little which was a lot in my sight (LOL) so that she could minister to a woman who was on the edge. By the time my wife was off the phone which was over an hour later, I could tell she too was exhausted (Yes for those that do not know, ministry can be very draining but God refreshes those who refresh), hungry and drained. So I served her food, made her a nice drink, pulled up the chair so she could kick her feet up and let her pour her heart out about the day she had.
Listen husbands, I'm not a perfect husband by far. There have been many times I missed the opportunity to love my wife and operated in my flesh instead. There have been times I came home and felt things should have been done a certain way and let my wife know, which started an argument between us. But THAT TIME I heeded to the Holy Spirit and listened to my Savior and loved my wife even when my flesh pushed against doing so. But look what happened? My wife got up after all of that to go lay down and then she said, "Thanks for not being upset with me. Tell me, how was your day"? Shouldn't that have been the first thing she said to me when I came home? Yes! But just because it wasn't and just because things were not in order as they should have been, does that mean she is not worthy to be loved like Christ loved the church?
The sad part about that question I just asked is that too many "believers" would have said "No she was not worthy" but that means you missed the commandment God gave us husbands. The word didn't say, "Husbands, love your wives like Christ ONLY if they submit to you as unto the Lord". It didn't say, "Husbands love your wives like Christ loves the church ONLY if she reverences you like the word says". It also didn't say, "Husbands love your wives ONLY if your wife is a good and Godly wife" or "Husbands love your wives when she does what she is supposed to do". NO! It says, Husbands LOVE YOUR WIVES...PERIOD! We don't get to choose when we love our wives when we are in obedience to Christ although we can choose not to love our wives when we are in disobedience to Christ.
My point is not to bring ANY attention to what I did that day because remember initially I DIDN'T WANT TO! I wanted my wife to drop that phone and get our our home in the way it should have been done. I wanted my food. I wanted my reward, my respect for all I had done that day, BUT GOD! God reminded me that His daughter needed to be loved even when she is not perfect, even when she is slacking in her role. The point I'm trying to make is IT WAS CHRIST who strengthened me to love her when I was justified in my feelings. Husbands, you CANNOT love a wife like Christ without Christ. I have said this time and time again, IT TAKES CHRIST to love a wife like Christ and to give up your very life for her. That day, I gave up my way in order for her to have her way and be loved like she deserved. Yes she is worthy of and deserves to be loves in spite of her shortcomings. Why? BECAUSE GOD SAID SO! It does not matter what she does or does not do, My Lord said His daughter is worthy of love ALWAYS!
It was not easy and since then I have missed the opportunity to love my wife when she needed it. But with Christ, I am getting better and better and hopefully I am perfecting my love towards her as Christ enables me to do so. Husbands I give this word to you as Christ has given it to me and all Godly husbands, don't miss the opportunity to love like Christ even in times where you don't feel your wife deserves it. Rely on Christ in order to do this because I am telling you, you cannot do this on your own or you will fail every time! Be encouraged husbands, pray and ask God to help you to never miss "The Opportunity to Love (Your Wives) Like Christ"!
Eph 5:25 (ERV), "Husbands, love your wives THE SAME as Christ loved the church".
Only if you have Christ can you do this! Do you have Him?"
ABOUT OUR GUEST: Truly Faithful, which originally started in 2006, is a ministry that focuses on helping couples to become and stay Truly Faithful in their marriages and helping singles to prepare for Godly marriages according to the word of God. Their motto for the ministry is, "Married couples, in order to be Truly Faithful to your spouse, you first must be Truly Faithful to Christ. And singles always be Truly Faithful to Christ"! The ministry is overseen by husband Pastor Antonio Vance, and his help meet Octavia E Vance known to many as "PAV & OEV".
The Vances have been married a little over 10 years and have 4 children ages 7, 5, 4 and 1 with another little one currently on the way. PAV and OEV believe in being transparent about their ups and downs in marriage as led by the Holy Spirit in order to teach and encourage couples and singles who want to do marriage God's way. They base every teaching off the word of God as the word is their governing authority. You may find them on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, google+ and their personal website all listed below.
www.TrulyFaithful.com
www.Twitter.com/BeTrulyFaithful.com
www.youtube.com/BeTrulyFaithful
google.com/+Trulyfaithful
www.TrulyFaithful.com
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