A PEEK FROM A BOOK: REDEEMING LOVE

This is a peek from the book REDEEMING LOVE written by FRANCINE RIVERS
A story on what a perfect love from God looks like and how it can heal the broken spirit. Romance read have never been this good! An amazing novel to read.

ENJOY THIS BIT OF THE STORY

The rose bushes Michael had brought home for Angel bloomed early. She touches the scarlet buds and thought of her mother. She was so much like Mae. She was good for growing flowers, looking pretty, and giving a man pleasure. Beyond that, what good was she?

Michael should have children. He wanted children.
She knew on Christmas night what she should do, but it was unbearable to even think of leaving him, of living without him. She wanted to stay here and forget the look in his eye when he held Benjamin. She wanted to cling to him and bask in the happiness he gave her.

It was that very selfishness that made her realize she didn’t deserve him.
Michael had given her everything. She had been empty, and he had filled her to over flowing with his love. She had betrayed him, and he had taken her back and forgiven her. He had sacrificed pride to love her. How could she discard his needs after that? How could she live with herself knowing that she has ignored the desires of his heart? What of Michael? What was best for him?
The dark voice spoke often: Stay! Don’t you deserve some happiness after all the years of living in misery? He says he loves you, doesn’t he? So let him prove it!
She couldn’t listen any more. She closed her mind to it and thought of Michael instead, and she thought of Miriam, sister of her heart. She thought of the children Miriam and Michael could have, dark and beautiful, strong and loving. Down through generation to come. She reminded herself that nothing could come from her. If she stayed, Michael would remain faithful until he died, and that would be the end of him.
She couldn't let that be.
When Michael told her he was going into town with Paul, she made her decision. John had remarked only yesterday that the town had grown so big a stage came twice a day. It travelled on high road not two miles from the cabin, just beyond the lines of hills. She still had the gold she had earned from Sam Teal and Joseph Hochschild. Michael had insisted she keep it for herself. It was enough to get her to San Francisco and keep her for a time. She would not think beyond that.

I have to think of what’s best for Michael
when Michael came in from the field, she had a sumptuous venison dinner for him. The cabin bedecked with flowers, the mantel, the table, the bed. Michael looked around bemused. “What are we celebrating?”
“Life,”she said and kissed him. She drank in the sight of him, setting every angle of his face and body to memory. She wanted him desperately, loved him so much. Would he ever know how much? She couldn’t tell him. If she did, he would come looking for her. He would bring her back. Better that he think her carnal and base. But she would have this last night to remember. He would be part of her no matter where she was and even if he never knew it. She would carry the sweet memories to her grave.
“Take me up the hill again, Michael. Take me to the place where you showed me the sunrise.”
He saw the hunger in her eyes. “It’s cool tonight”
“Not too cold.”
He could deny her nothing, but there was a strange uneasiness in the pit of his stomach. Something was wrong. He took the quilts from the bed and led the way. Perhaps she would talk to him and tell him what preyed on her mind. Maybe she would open up to him finally.
But her mood changed, swinging from pensive to abandon. She ran to the top of the hills ahead of him and spun around, her arms spread wide. All around her, crickets sang, and soft breeze stirred the grasses. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it? The vastness of it all. I’m utterly insignificant.”
“Not to me.”
“Yes,” she said, turning to him. “Even to you.” He frowned, and she turned again. “There shall be no gods before me,” she cried out to heaven. “None but you Lord.” She turned and looked at him. None but you, Michael Hosea
He frowned. “Are you mocking me, beloved?”
“Never, ” she said and meant it.
She look her hair down. It spilled on her shoulder and back, white in the moonlight. “Do you remember reading to me of the Shulammite bride dancing for her husband?”
He couldn’t breathe as he watched her in the moonlight. Every movement drew his gave to her and made her aware. When he tried to take hold of her, she moved away again, her arms outstretched in invitation. Her hair floated about her, her voice came husky and enticing in the wind.
“I’ll do anything for you, Michael. Anything.”
And suddenly he knew what she was doing. She was saying good-bye, just as she had the last time. She was deadening his mind with physical pleasure.

When she came close again, Michael caught hold of her. “Why are you doing this?”

“For you,” she said, pulling his head down and kissing him.
Digging his finger into her hair, he slanted his mouth across hers. He wanted to consume her. Her hands were like flame on his body.
God, I won’t let her go again. I can’t!
She moved against him, and he had no thought except for her, and it was enough.
God, why are you doing this to me again? Do you give to take away?
‘”Michael, Michael,” she breathed, and he tested the saltiness of his own tears on her cheeks.
“You need me.” He could see her moonlit face. “ You need me. Say it, Tirzah. Say it.”
Let her go, beloved
God no! Don’t ask it of me!
Give her to me
No!
They clung to one another, seeking solace in sweet oblivions. But sweet oblivions doesn’t last.
Michael held her tightly when it passed away. He tried to hold onto all of it, but they were two separate beings again. He had not the strength to hold them together forever.
She was trembling violently, whether from cold or spent passion he didn’t know. He didn’t ask. He drew quilt. Around them both and still felt her resolve like a raw wound.
It was growing colder, and they needed to return. They dressed in silence, both tormented, both pretending not to be. She came to him as a child would, looking for comfort.
He closed his eyes against the fear uncurling in the pit of his stomach. I love her, Lord. I can’t give her up.
Michael, beloved. Would you have her hang on her cross forever?
Michael let out a shuddering sigh. When she lifted her face, he saw something in it that made him want to weep. She loved him. She really loved him. And yet, there was something else in her moonlit face. A haunting sadness he couldn’t take away, an emptiness he could never fill. He remembered her anguished words on the night Benjamin was born. “I wish I was whole!.”
He couldn’t make her so.
Lifting her, he held her cradled in his arms. She put her arm around his neck and kissed him. He closed his eyes. Lord, if I give her up to you, will you ever give her back to me?
No answer came.
Lord, please!
The wind stirred softly, but there was only silence.